ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize