You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
