it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
