You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
