Me too!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
