so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
