Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
