whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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