I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
