I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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