Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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