So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
