Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
