I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
