If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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