YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
