Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
