Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My ass is underappreciated
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
