I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
