I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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