My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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