I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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