All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I supernannyed him into submission
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
