suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
last night I used snow as a chaser
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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