I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
