did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
