STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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