And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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