Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
