You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
