Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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