Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you win again, gameday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
