Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
