we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
