I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
