I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
