Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
