Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
