nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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