So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
