My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
