Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
