We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
