i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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