My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
