Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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