Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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