Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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