I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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