i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
