If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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