fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My ass is underappreciated
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
