So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
