Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
