the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
BRING THE BAGELS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
