Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Randomize
