Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think i have two assholes
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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