names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
