So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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