this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
