Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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