There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
