That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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