I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
