I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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