who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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