I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
