I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
