Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
